It's important for the child being introduced to the nanny – this is how get to know each other.

What are the child's needs?

For a child to develop a sense of basic trust, it needs fixed caregivers who deal with it empathetically and caring. The first and most important caregivers are usually the parents. A child can also develop a trusting relationship with other people. Regular and reliable visits help the child to do so. However, an abrupt separation from their parents can trigger fears of loss. That is why it is important to get used to the situation carefully.

What should the nanny pay attention to?

Your nanny has good references and has several years of experience in different families. That's a good start. But every family is different. What is your daily routine, what are your eating habits, how do you speak with your child? What can your child already do or what is on his or her mind right now? The nanny has to pick up on the child's signals and respond appropriately. Likewise, she should be able to respond empathetically to the parents' concerns. During the settling-in phase, the nanny will, on the one hand, learn as much as possible about your habits with the children, and on the other hand, she will observe the interaction between you and your child during the first few days.

What is important to you as parents?

Are you really convinced that the nanny is taking good care of your child? Does she set limits in the same way you would? Does she interpret her child's crying or tantrums correctly? Does she educate your child in the way you would want? Can you go to work without a care in the world, knowing that your child is in the best of care? Is this perhaps the first time you've been separated from your child? During the familiarisation period, you have the opportunity to show your nanny what is important to you in dealing with your child.

Take a gentle approach to settling in

A carefully planned and consciously designed settling-in period enables the child to gradually get used to the new situation and to deal with the new caregiver. The child learns to come to terms with it. To do this, it needs enough time. On average, about two to three weeks immediately before ‘starting’ are necessary for familiarisation. Be sure to talk to the child about the upcoming change.

Child and Nanny: Steps to familiarisation

1. Ideally, the basic familiarisation phase should last for four consecutive days, during which the nanny visits the family (but at least twice). She stays with the child for one to two hours in the presence of the parents. Do not attempt to separate them during this phase. This means, for example, that if the mother leaves the room, she should take her child with her. The nanny will use these first visits to observe your parenting style and the way you interact: How do you live your daily life with your child? How do you talk to your child? What rituals do you and your child have?

   • Take time and sit comfortably with the child
   • Let the child explore the nanny from this ‘safe haven’
   • Give him your full attention (no reading the newspaper or writing text messages)
   • Maintain eye contact with the child
   • Respond to the child's greater need for physical closeness
   • Allow the child time to approach the new caregiver
   • The child may show the nanny the apartment, the children's room or other things

   These are the most important prerequisites for giving your child the opportunity to slowly get used to the new situation and to be able to engage with the nanny as a caregiver.

2. Now you can start with short absences:
   • Initially no longer than 5 to max. 10 minutes
   • Never leave the room without communicating this to the child
   • Tell the child where you are going
   • Tell the child that they are in good hands with the nanny
   • When you return, show the child that you are happy to see them again
   • Depending on the planned time, gradually increase the periods of absence.

   During this time, your nanny should also get to know your home and your eating habits. In addition, the nanny will be more and more involved in changing, feeding or putting the child to bed.

3. The nanny takes on the task. You take a back seat more and more. Now you can leave the house for longer periods. But stay available for the nanny by phone so that you, should it be necessary, are quickly back with your child. Make the goodbye to the child conscious and as short as necessary.

4. The familiarisation phase is complete when
   • the child eats and sleeps with the nanny
   • the child actively participates in the day's events
   • the child accepts the nanny as a ‘safe base’
   • the child seeks help and support from the nanny
   • the nanny is familiar with the child's signals and rituals
   • the parents let the child feel that it is in good hands
   • the parents have confidence in the nanny and express this

Please note that the familiarisation period counts as working time. During this time, the nanny is very intensively occupied with the child and your family. She often has to put other obligations on hold in order to have enough time for the familiarisation. Therefore, an hourly wage - in accordance with the contract - is adjusted.